Candle

So there are few times that I am speechless in my life. But when I found out that one of my friends died, I did find myself at a stand still for words. All that would come out of me were tears. So this is for you my friend.

You bore your candle with dignity and a way that many are jealous of. Winds blew, let's not joke and say they didn't. But you knew how to handle the wind, and never did you put the bushel over your light. You let it burn bright for all to see around you. We wonder where and when our wick's end will come, but we never expect them to come at such a time as this. For such a short time your candle burned with a passion many beings never seem to experience in a life time of existing. For you didn't exist, you lived. Everyday was new and it was the promise of a new beginning, and you knew that. You carried your candle to the very end of the road, an unreasonably short road. So with heavy hearts we say goodbye to this bright light.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." -2 Timothy 4:7

Dedicated to Kari Wynn Denson 1991-2009

Christmas

Thinking about this Holiday season and all the feelings, thoughts and emotions that come and go with it. I don't know how to describe this day but I am going to try in the next few sentences.

Another Christmas has come and gone. Things don't seem too different than last year, but at the same time it feels like another world. Many worries have come and gone while others have been introduced, new and unknown. But on this day that just passed by I can't help but smile in spite of any clouds that loom around and about me. These clouds, all of these, just seem to fade away ever 25th of December. Where a broken family is made whole again, and hurting hearts are mended. It's the one day where it's ok to be as childish as you can be, no matter what your real age happens to be. A joy so unexplainable, untouchable, but ever present seems to soak this day through. Permeating it through and through. What's the cause of this happiness? One might stop to ponder this when thinking about this, most blessed of days. This is the result of a love that was more than love that brought a peace that no other has ever been able to measure up to. It's the day a baby came to earth, a God-King in his right but he gave it all up. So that we can see this, the glimpse of the Father's Heart.

Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of a David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger." And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!" -Luke 2:10-14

Yahweh

So, I was listening to the song Yahweh by Hillsong today; or well sorta I was watching an exerpt from the Faith + Hope + Love CD/DVD. And the preacher was talking about what God's name means. I love how he said that in the bible God has over 270 names. That got me to thinking about how our names mean so much to us. Our name is what gives us our identity. Thus explaining why having one's identity "stolen" is such a big deal. But our God the one who made us can't even be summed up in one name or title; because if you were to sum him up in a word it wouldn't even come close to explaining who he really is. How is that for awesome? Besides, even if this wasn't even a point look at the meaning of his name(s). Like Jehovah Shalom, Prince of Peace! Jehovah Rophe, healer! His name(s) speak his love and mercy toward his creation. It shows his never failing love and how it has remained constant throughout the centuries, no matter what regimes have existed upon the earth. He is El Shaddai, God all sufficient. And I don't know about you but I need an all sufficient saviour, because I am weak and weary and life can get me down. But he is there from everlasting to everlasting. And when we need someone to lean on and to feel whole in he is Jehovah Nissi, the Lord our banner! And due to what he did some 2000 plus years ago he is Yeshua, our saviour. Who never grows tired or weary. That's the God that I serve.

"For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government shall be upon His shoulders. And his name shall be called: Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." -Isaiah 9:6

Desperate Need.

As of lately very few things seem all that permanent in my life. I am so worried at times while at the same time I am excited. I am just trying to remember the excited part right now and ignore most of the worry. Oh and as for the picture with this, I thought hey everyone wants something or is after something. And like Dorothy we just need to ask, only we just need to ask God.

In a state of loneliness and fear, I am found. In a cocky tone I ask: Where have you been all this time? I was hurting and no one was their beside me, I was wanting comfort and no one ever gave me a moments peace. God looked at me, with love in his eyes. He smiled and said you didn't have me beside you because I was all around you, holding you. And my child, if you want to be consoled why didn't you simply ask? I thought about this in a selfish rage for a minute or two. Watched the sparrows fly by as they landed in the mornings dew. So small were they yet they did fine, he must love me if he can sustain this all. I looked up at him and cried as I buried my head within his breast. He held me close rocking me too and fro. "You are my joy, you are my reason for the earth. I knew your name then as I do now. Come and find your rest in me weary traveler."

"For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him." -Psalm 34:7

Wonder

I just love when God puts me just simply in wonder of him like he has today! He is sooo amazing!! So when I found this picture I knew it just perfectly defined the picture of absolutely pure, untarnished wonder!

I can't believe what grace what mercy finds me. What passion holds me still. I am bought for, not sold out. I am precious to my beloved. For they are jealous of me. Wanting an encounter from me.

Just not a one sided conversation set to melodic key. What humility bore my pain and made me new again. What joy encompasses me, to set me a flame. A burning fire, an eternal flame. What beauty surrounds me, in the bleak and barren times. Like a waterfall constantly flowing on, drowning me in him and his love. What a saviour that you would find me: imperfect, hurt, hypocritical, depressed, unlovely. What a saviour that though you found me in such decay that you took me and made me new. What a love that you sustain me now.

"And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." -Matthew 18:3-4

Organized Chaos

So, tonight was so so bitter-sweet. It was a night that was necessary, I guess. Nothing can stay the same. Because without change, nothing new can ever happen. While we are loosing our youth pastor and his wife, we are keeping and maintaining two amazing friends who are so much more than what the word "friend" can justify in it's meaning. God will preserve not only that friendship but the spiritual bond, as a family in Christ, that we share. Nothing can change that, neither angels or demons. The Love of the Saviour will hold us together.

Chaotic, unpredictable; like the crashing ocean wave. It rages on and on without any set out pattern or rhythm. There is no visible line or set theory. It's purpose, visible, yet unseen. We can't determine when or how far it will go. But we can clearly see it's effects. A life touching another throughout history, a heart touching another in a time of need. This chaos called life. It is unpredictable, yet organized in some kind of order. We can't manage our life like some aristocrat. It can't be put under a bushel, like a flame. But it can be put out like one, in the blinking of an eye. The passing of a second. Something so strong, but it can be exterminated. This Organized chaos is what we have, and only one knows where it's path leads. He holds the keys to every door and every window. He shall not steer me wrong.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11

The Beat of My Heart

So before I post this let me just say: this isn't directed to any person in particular it's simply just what I've noticed; and if you are offended by it I guess we know whose heart God is dealing with. Also, I love to dance but not in a way that could be mistaken for sexual intercourse.

I take one step, she takes another. We could leave it in this simple rhythm, but that would be too clean. Too well pressed and mannered. No, I need to be let loose. In a wild frenzy of fleshly moves. A seductive salsa dancer, dancing to a beat that should never have been played. A beat that was not meant to be taken in the way that it's being used. A melody that's been tarnished and scarred by this world. The clean white coat, stained by just the one drop of deep scarlet wine. Was it really worth this. To bring in a new song a new melody, from this old broken one. How can a destroyed melody teach a note how to form an orchestra? How can a broken heart guide a hurting one?

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your Life." -Proverbs 4:23

A Writers Heart

My friend Caitlin wrote this. But like she said, it was inspired by God. And it's so so true. It really did inspire me! So, I had no part in it's writing but I TOTALLY know this emotion:

Lately, I’ve been trying to find the right words to pen down, a paragraph of something beautiful for the One I love. I had this burden to write, but no words were flowing down the page. Frustrated, I balled up so many pieces of paper and scratched through so many thoughts and ideas. I had my head in my hands, my notebook tossed across my bedroom floor in frustration, and my heart still burdened by this desire to create and write something. Out of nowhere, I heard God say to me:

“Listen, my child. You don’t have to do a thing. I simply enjoy you. I love looking over your shoulder as you doodle those crazy things in your notebook. I enjoy watching your pen travel down the page in excitement when I give you a new idea. I love gazing at the fire in your eyes and the determination on your face as you write. I especially love it when you lean back in your chair, sigh, and look up at Me because I know you are looking at Me for more ideas, like you are doing now. So have peace, My darling. This burden in your heart is not to write. It’s Me, and I just want to spend a little time with you. Toss the notebook aside, put the cap on the pen, and let me tug on your heart a little longer…”

Covered by the Blood

So, this won't be one of the happiest things I've ever written... Life is that way now and then. It has it's ups and it's downs. Time is partial to no one, not even God's people. The past few weeks have been hard, there's no other way to sum them up. But through it all I know God is there and he's bigger than my simple misfortunes and worries.

Part 1: School.
If you know me, you will also know that it's my senior year. So much is changing so fast... and I have no control over any of it. It's weird to me that in just a few short months that all that I know will be changed forever. Many people who I love dearly, I will never see again in this life. I'll be moving on to new places with new faces. At the same time I am more excited than I've ever been in my life. I don't even know how to explain how exhilarating it is to think about. But Satan has been using this to get at me. He knows my insecurities and tried to pray on them. He tried to bring me down so that I can't accomplish what God has for me. I have news for him: it hasn't and will not work. God is my rock on which I stand. No power rather of heaven, hell, or earth shall overcome him. So this part is no longer an issue. I claim this case as shut. On the folder it reads: "COVERED BY THE BLOOD".

Part 2: Family.
My family doesn't always get along, let's be honest, whose really does at all times? I do not belong to the Brady Bunch or the Cleaver's. We don't always see eye to eye. And we don't always like each other. But when it comes right down to it we are always there for each other. They are mine. My Dad has been sick since right before I started my high school career. He has back problems that aren't getting better, actually they are getting worse it seems. These constant bouts of pain can make him irritable. Other people who shall remain nameless in this blog use this as a reason to blame him for problems. The next thing isn't very major to the rest of the world I guess, but to me it is. We're putting my dog to sleep this weekend because he can no longer walk unassisted. While this wouldn't be enough to make me truly depressed by itself, it is definitely something that can add to growing problems. Not very manly to admit, but it's true. Besides in God's own word it says: Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.*1 Peter 5:7* So even though this hasn't been resolved yet, and while there are even more problems I didn't even bother to mention in here because I promise this isn't a pity party, I am going to say about this subject: "COVERED BY THE BLOOD".

Part 3: Church Family.
Tonight was the most difficult night of church I have ever had to endure to say the least. We found out that our Youth Pastor, his Wife, our Children's Pastor, and his wife all had to be let go because of lack of funding in the church. I could probably react to this in so many different ways. I mean this people ARE MY FAMILY. I've known them for years and they've changed me and helped me to grow in so many ways that I can't really even begin to tell you what all they've done for me. I could be bitter, sad, mad, annoyed, or depressed. All of these emotions wouldn't be weird for me to feel about our situation. But God is there through this situation. I know I have a duty to my youth ministry. God has given me, as well as the other youth in my youth ministry, a calling. A calling that I can't deny. And until I can use that calling to it's fullest extent I have a duty and a calling for Fuel Student Ministries. As long as the doors are open it's not too late. What's awesome? When God closes one door he opens another. Well, there are about 6 doors at my church that just got closed due to people either being let go or moving due to military orders. So I can only begin to imagine what he has for us. We have come way too far, grown far too much to let this go. The going isn't going to be easy for the next few months, possibly for the next year. But God has something not only for Fuel but for Pastor Allen and Ms. Shannon, Pastor Bryan and Lila. He put a calling on their lives that hasn't finished. He has something sooo much better for them, and while I hate to let them go I know that it's only because I'm selfish. And I am, when I love people I don't want to let them go. But this is God's way of saying it's time for yall to move on and while it's hard. It'll be ok. Just know that we love you guys. You are constantly in our hearts and minds and we can't wait to hear what God is going to do with yall. *hopefully he'll decide to keep you at FWC though :D* haha.
So like the rest all I have to say is: "COVERED IN THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB!!!".

"For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39

Potter

I was listening to the song Finally I Surrender by Misty Edwards tonight. And this came into my mind. I want him to be the potter of me and my life as long as I have breath. It is my eternal prayer.

A lump of clay, a spot of mud. So unformed and incomplete, without any real shape or form. Then, the Potter comes. He comes and sets me upon his wheel; shapes, forms, and guides me. He smooths the rough edges and makes me new, takes me out of the mire I come from. When I give into the pressure, the prodding, I realize it's for my own good. To make me something new and worth while. Something, a vessel, that can be filled. Oh that I may be filled to overflowing. May I be filled 'til I cannot hold anything else.

-"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." - Proverbs 16:9

Fool of Knowledge

So, this is yet another poem written as an effect of my utter annoyed state in my second hour class. But once more it ended up having a much deeper meaning than it's original context would lead you to believe :).

Why work as one? Don't you know that we'd actually achieve something then? Why listen to an opinion that's better than yours? You might learn something. Why admit that your way is wrong? You might show humility. And none of this would EVER do. Of course not, why would you expect otherwise? You say you're better than them, better than all of this. Don't you know? The wise are made to be utter fools.

"For the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. As the Scriptures say, 'He traps the wise in the snare of their own cleverness.' " - 1 Corinthians 3:19

Hope

It's what I need everyday to make it through. Without it, I wouldn't be standing. Without it, there would be no me. It makes me who I am, it releases my passion. It makes me whole. And just so you know, I didn't mispell Son. :)

The root of my life. The foundation on which my heart lies. It's the back bone of any grace in humanity. It resounds in creation. The winds carry it from the mountain heights; They blow it to the depths of the Earth. It comforts the grief-stricken, And it punishes the wicked. Founded on a hill, the years of a dual chiliad since. It's circumstances weren't how most wanted to greet it. But rather wanted or not, it was and is, and it will be. The Heavens join in with it's labour of love. With it, the Son shines bright.

"And a voice from Heaven said, 'This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great Joy." -Matthew 3:17

Confessions of a Fine Arts Participant 3

Side note: Sarah Reeves Concert. "Eating this is fun!!" xD

Awesome day. Zach performed today, grr... made me get up, haha. Japanese food for lunch at Ming Court. AMAZING service tonight!! God's love was so strong and tangible there. To think that the saviour of the world, the maker of all creation cares for me is astounding. I can't even describe how much I love him. After service was pretty gangsta. :) Bearett and Seth join us at Olive Garden and we told "Yo Momma" jokes. Quite Amusing, haha.

-August 5, 2009

Speaker: Jay Mooney & Tony Dungy

Orlando9 night 3, day 2

Confessions of a Fine Arts Participant 2

Sidenotes for the day: Got cussed out atleast twice by two scottish guys at the pool! Met two annoying Hispanic hotel police officers... ugh!!

Performed our best for he who can't be given all that he's worth! But we did our best for him, and I believe that it was pleasing to his heart, even though we didn't advance. Went to Johnny Rockets and to Wonder World, Allen and Shannon paid for both :)!! Long day, but luckily it was our night off.

-August 4, 2009

Orlando9 night 2, day 1

Speaker: none, night off.

Listen

I wrote this in Chemistry a couple days ago. While the original reason behind me writing it was to make a parody of my Chemistry class, it ended up having a deeper meaning. It ended up being a definition, partially, of the human condition.

A non-melodic rasp. A melody of clashing notes. The sound of silence, words being pronounced with no meaning. Sound, going and going. No one listens, yet they all hear it. They refuse to listen to this song. A jamble of notes without a scale. A rythm in the minor key of H. Sung in treble-bass Clef on a non-distorted Harp. We hear what we hear, but never listen to it. See what we see, but don't examine. This is the failure of Humanity.

"And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!' " -Matthew 25:40

Your Light

I wrote this in math class this past week. When I wrote it I was indeed thinking about someone. One person who knows what's right but feel they need to be like this world. They know the story, they know every line by heart. But instead of using what they know, and instead of using their light they decide to hold it under a bushel, so that they can fit in. And well, it really hurts to see that.

The light you posses is precious, so why hide it? The light that you possess is rare. So, why cover it? Your light is precious, so protect it. Your light is stronger when you're at your weakest, so use it. Your light can't be extinguished by man. Only you can do that. So hold true, be true. Shine.

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." -Matthew 5:14

Reborn

No matter how much I mess up, I find myself born again in his love. Renewed, cleansed, and totally and completely forgiven by him. God this is for you, I love you Lord.

In his death, I am made new. In his suffering, I am renewed. My heart mended and healed, for the very first time. What love, that kidnaps me. What love, that overwhelms me. What grace, that found me and continues to forgive me. Until his coming for me I live in him. In his power I find my strength. In his love I find my ability to love. In his grace, I find my ability to forgive and to show grace myself. In you, I loose myself. I loose all that I regret and all that I am afraid of. I am reborn, made new in you. For I am born to serve. I was chosen at birth for a purpose. I was hand picked for a cause.

If my people, who are called by name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear them from Heaven, and I will forgive their sin, and I'll heal their Land. -2nd Chronicles 7:14

Work, Dance

So... school started Monday, such a joy. But atleast it's my senior year. Yeah, this blog is a bit less joyful about the school experience I do suppose. Maybe it's because we don't always appreciate things while they last? I don't know. But, one thing I do know for sure you have to work at it. You have to try really hard or else it will either not be done right or, in the end, it won't be worth while. Just like our relationship with God. While God does indeed help us, why should we expect him to do all the work? A relationship, like the tango, demands two.

One and two, and up and down. I do this dance alone. You're too busy, you're too consumed to time out to care about this bond. This dance for two, this sweet play. I can't dance alone, and you can't expect me to. I need you to work with me, work with me in this dance. And when we finish we can say the victory was ours, we did our best. The rythm was off and the step wasn't the best. But we, we danced to the true rythm and the true beat. So who can find fault in us. Let's dance together.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." -2 Timothy 4:7

Keep me, Keep you

My final year of highschool begins in two days. It's come so fast at times, and at others it hasn't come fast enough. It's the beginning of so much. But at the same time I can't help but realize that for some things, it's the end. And it can hurt, I know though that if you have been a part of my life you won't be forgotten. If you have been a part of me, with you you'll take a piece of me. And a piece of you I hope you'll give to me. For friendship is a God ordained standard. It's something that, if true, no mere human can destroy. If you are my friend, you are my family. This is to you, my friends.

So please, please keep me in your mind. Even if time and your stature haveleft me behind. May the cineplex of time, play in a constant loop; Running over and over in your mind. I hope that in the bedlam of life, that you'll find time to remember me; and remember you. I pray that God may will our path's to cross again someday. Don't forget, a man who forgets his past is cursed to never leave the confines of it. But remember them, me, you, we. Remember what it was that made this place, this small homely place, a home. Remember when you are overwhelmed by a Ritzy world to be thankful. Remember that it isn't by your hand. For all success is in the Lord. So please, may I stay in your mind. As a kind of sunshine. When you think of me, may you smile. May your clouds fade away. For that's what happens when I think of the then, in our yester-year. May your every wish be granted to you, I pray. May love find you, especially when you need it the least. To keep you humble, to keep you human. May God have grace, that he will never shine away from your face. Our roads now diverge my friend, but it won't stay this way... not to the end.

Confessions of a Fine Arts Participant 1

Monday Night, side note: Got cussed out by one British lady today, Shannon protected us though!

Stay true to your calling. It will be hard, and at times, it will hurt. But despite the hurt from the pain, our God is always there. He's almighty. I don't know how his path is all the way... And there's no road map either. But if I follow him, I will always end up where I want to be; even if I didn't know that I wanted to be there. Your guiding system NEVER looses course!!

-August 3, 2009

Speaker: Mark Vega

Orlando9, night 1.

Defeat

It's so weird how we can do so, so well. Only to be defeated, all to often by ourselves. By our own stupid weaknesses, and losses. And all we can do is pray we don't make the same mistake again... Even though, so often, the mistakes we make are the ones that we repeat. The ones that really hurt you. The ones that you don't want anyone to know about. The ones you can't tell anyone about. The ones that affect you, no matter how much you try to forget them. Even if they don't seem too significant to others.

Why is it that I must go through this same old story again. And I know it's my fault. No one else forced it upon me. Though there might be some people who are always there urging it on, no one can ever really make you fail. I am sorry for it honestly and truly each time that it happens. And yet I don't ever seem to be able to overcome it. So often I think it's because we fail at giving certain things to God. So we fail at achieving full freeness, and relief. And it's not because he doesn't want to offer it. He does. So very much. And it pains him to see us fail. Especially when he sees us fail, and it hurt us because we failed ourselves. When part of the process involves us just forgiving ourselves and letting ourselves over come the pain and the utter embarrassment of it all. But his love still shines through. Proving itself over and over. All we have to do is realize to just fully let go, to overcome.

dare you to move

So I got this idea from the song Dare You to Move - Switchfoot. As christians we forget that we hold the truth. That we have the answer, the key to all the hurt and all the problems in the world. So why keep it locked up inside? Someone obviously shared it with you.

Would it, could it, should it really be that hard. To move from a place of isolation, where you hold a secret tightly in; into the light of the day where there are people lost in their acts of negation. Your caught up in yourself, why move and stress. What a mess, I must confess. It's too hard to move! Or so you say. How is it that we find ourselves locked in our own pride. The pride of our own popularity and social status. A hollywood elite wanna be. Fine, sit there in your knowledge and "truth". A modern pharisee. You stay in your little clique, basking in the light of your own self righteouness. Careful, you might get a righteous sun burn. Break out of this place that you find yourself. Unleash yourself. Don't confine yourself within the boundaries of your safety. Expand it. Come one, I dare you to move!

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven." -Matthew 5:14-16

death is only a continuation of life

So in this past week two people that I know died. While they were both very old, it just didn't seem right for them to die. They were both very different people, from very different world's. Each with a totally different path than the other. One commited his total life to God, and the other was a lawyer for many years and to be honest I don't know what her relationship with God was like. Although I know she did believe in him and go to church up until she was physically unable to go. So, here's to them.

The meaning behind a moment. The essence in a day. How can you measure what a single day is worth? For one day, no matter how similar, is never equal to the other. In one day, how strange, a life can be made. In one day, how tragic, a life can be broken. Deals sealed, plans made, love fulfilled, heart's broken. In one day a life, a new life, is made. Created from the passion of two lovers. In one day a life, a classic old life, is lost. Lost from the face of history forevermore. Part of a fabric, a network of an interweaving divine design.

"There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot..." -Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

RIP Aunt Harriet and Mr.Hann

...your sin will stain the rug

So, this blog isn't gonna be as artistic as most of my blogs are. It's actually more of a rant. So I was talking to two of my best friends tonight, one of them is with their family down in New Orleans and she said that she visited the St. Louis Cathedral while she was there. Well, for one, I'm not Catholic. I don't know how a Catholic Church works, and to be honest I don't really care to. No offense to anyone whose Catholic. It just seems very don't come as you are, your sin might stain the carpet. But anyways, she said that there was a guy near the altar and he must of touched it or whatever and the Priest came storming out really really mad, and kicked the guy out.

And you know, that really bugs me. Instead of caring about that guy, and his soul, the Priest was too busy caring about his job of keeping the altar so pristine, clean and lovely. So many churches, no matter what the denomination, are like that. They care too much about the man made traditions. It makes me wonder if we are reading the same Bible sometimes! Didn't Jesus warn the Pharisee's and the Sanhedrin about that very thing?! So, instead of learning from Jesus many of us simply repeat the mistakes of those that Jesus openly MOCKED. I don't know about you but I don't want to be mocked by the son of God. And it's not just a Catholic problem, by any stretch of the imagination. A friend of mine on a Choir trip, who wasn't raised Baptist, was standing in the pulpit and he was gotten onto by our choir teacher who just so happens to be Baptist. Apparently the pulpit is considered sacred and Holy in the Baptist church.

How is it that we assign certain items that Jesus never mentioned in the Bible to such holy places in our minds? If you look up pulpit on dictionary.com you'll find that it means: a platform or raised structure in the church. Exactly! In the church. Not part of the church. Which is, for you bible scholars out there, the Body of Christ. Now I'm not saying we should disrespect the furnishings in a church and treat them as common. But when we start to put the furniture and all the furnishings of a church above saving a life, and when we start making people feel bad because they are "unclean" that's when, in my opinion, we start sinning! You know... I'm afraid a lot of people/churches wouldn't except Jesus today. The blood and dirt that were on his feet might stain the carpet.

...tornado

So, the way I got the idea for this poem is really really random. I was watching Roseanne, which I hardly ever to never do, and they were in an episode where this huge tornado was hitting Lanford. Then my mind started to think about a tornado and I linked it to how being saved can at times mess you up and change you. Just like a tornado.

You take me. From the safety of this meadow; the tranquility of this valley. You pick me up like a tornado. Raw, and powerful. You mess me up. Change me, turn me upside down and around. You break me. From this state of hurt, you take me. From my problems, you pick me up and deliver me. You change what I want, messing up my selfish dreams. You put me on a path of righteousness; and you tell me that I am loved. You turned me around from my state of self decay. You're beyond my control, and I could never thank you enough.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

...sparrow

So, today has been a really hard day for some people here at home. Some people's lives have totally been changed. At First Baptist Shreveport a bus carrying 23 people on a youth trip flipped when the driver lost control. One is dead and several others in critical care. While we ask ourselves why all I can think of is that our God is the God who provides. The God who gives and who takes away, and no matter the season may his name be lifted high.

My heart is full, it seems to be breaking. It is being pushed and prodded in it's aching state. I feel alone as if my world is folding in on me. "God where were you when my heart was breaking"? I ask so foolishly. He answers: " I was there picking up the pieces and forming it again for my glory." Then I ask again of the almighty: "God where were you when my world was folding in on me?" He answers: "I was your Atlas, holding you up above the storm." And then I stopped in my sorrow and sadness. I heard a small coo and I looked up and saw a sparrow. As it fell from his flight, I saw a tear fall from heaven. "How much more do I love you than a sparrow?" "You may not of noticed it, or even of been able to at the time. But I was that small voice inside urging you to go on! When you were crying, I was the strength inside letting you know that the sun comes in the morning. And when this storm enveloped you like grave clothes, I was the one who brought you the sun. And when you're hurting know this: no matter what the time, no matter when the hour; hold tight to me for I am your strong tower." Then I rose up from my sullen state, and while the pain was not gone I proclaimed to the Lord. "You are my shelter from my storm, you are the urge in me to go on. You are my King. So I will praise you when I dance, and I will praise you when I fall. You are my redeemer. For there is none like you. I am worth more to you than the sparrow's that you see fall. And I know that you are there to catch me when I stumble. May your name, my God, in the good and the bad forever be praised.

"...Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." -Matthew 10:28-31

*Dedicated to First Baptist of Shreveport. Our God is an awesome God, he reigns, from Heaven above with wisdom, power, and love our God is an awesome God.*

...fragile

So, I was basically being my nerdy history buff self earlier today. I was looking at something that was talking about the Chernobyl disaster. It must of been so very weird for the people of that city and Prypiat to be able to understand or grasp what it was that had just happened. Something that immense completely changing their lives forever. It made me think about this very true statement: "life is fragile". So since life is fragile, very mortal, why do we treat it so carelessly and why do we not do what we know we are supposed to? When one single moment could make all the difference!

Soft and dear. Light and calm. Changing ever so slowly, to be put out at an instance. Though it's existence itself may endure the tests of time, it's immediate time on this earth is short. Coming and going with the seasons. Like a grain of sand blown in the wind. It can either be placed down softly and sweetly. Or thrown and destroyed by it's surroundings. There is but one thing we are assured of. This moment here and now is lasting, for now. Don't let it be blown away, to have never even affected a single soul.

"... For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to this royal position for such a time as this?" -Esther 4:14

...critics

So, you know... movie critics really, really annoy me. They always have the stupidest critiques. Like, when a movie is actually really really good they always find some randomly horrible flaw. But what I find amusing is that even through their horrible critiques people still flock to the movies to find out for themselves rather or not they like a movie and never form their opinions on these overly paid, pompous, wind bags!! So, why is it that as Christians we always take the criticism of others, especially non-Christians, to heart? We become scared to say what we believe because of a negative word by someone else. Which in my opinion, is totally bogus.

Never. That's something I would never do. Wait, you think my opinion is wrong? Well then you must be true. Even though you are lost. Your opinion must be true. I have the truth, you have a warped theory. Obviously you must be right, ignorance is correct after all. Never should I believe what I know to be true once someone disagrees with me. How dare I be politically incorrect, even if it means abandoning my beliefs. Ha! How selfish of me.

*For those of you who haven't guessed yet, that was sarcasm!!*

...lukewarm

So we went to the homeless shelter today for AIM Bossier. And while I know there are indeed people who are where they are because of the simple fact that life sucks, so many people are there because of a severe case of apathy. They could very easily go out and get a job, and while they don't go out and sabotage their chances of getting one, they also don't go out and look actively for a job. This can apply to us spiritually so much. We stay in our own "Jesus Bubble". Thinking that: hey, it's good enough that I myself am saved, if no one else is then well there are missionaries for that sort of thing. The point of it is though, that you might be the only "Jesus" that, that person ever sees.

You have the world, the secret to it's mysteries all within. But you don't let it out. You know the answer to pain and suffering in the chronicles of your mind. But you close it up tight. You know that you were called to be set apart, a light in this dark dying world. But you hide your light with a bushel; afraid at the snide remarks of the lost. So what shall you say when that day comes and you have to explain yourself? How shall you explain yourself in that case? For your excuses don't work with the one who made the rules himself. Perhaps it would be better for you to be totally cold and unknowing, than to know and not share the truth.

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I am about to spit you out of my mouth!" -Revelation 3:15-16

...homeless

So today was the first day of AIM Bossier and it makes you realize how truly blessed we are each and every day to just have the utter basics. The things that we take for granted today, not because of any fault of our own *that we realize at least*, but simply because it is that needed in our everyday lives. Such as water, heat in the winter, clothes, or even food. They're things that we don't miss until they are gone. But take a look at the streets of any downtown in any city across America and somewhere you will find the homeless. Rather it's out in plain sight or hidden behind a pretty façade, it's still there. Even in this city of Shreveport-Bossier it's still there. But so often we mark them off under our own kind of caste system as the untouchables. Yet, these are the people that Jesus loved and hung around. These people the drunks, the stoners, the hookers, and pimps. He chose to be around them. Why? Because they were the ones who needed him the most. So who are we to say that we cannot talk to a homeless person -a possible lost soul- when Jesus loved them?

To be at home when you are nowhere certain, whenever you are there with no one certain. And yet, I am home. I don't really know this place that I find myself. For, what is home really? You can live somewhere, be at your house, but not be at home. My home is where memories and love are. Not that romantic fickle kind, but true; brother, sister, mother, daughter, father kind of love. The kind of love that makes me feel home is the love that caused one man to die. I didn't ask, nor did anyone else ask for him to. But he gave it all for the love to make us be at home. So that, on that day, our last graduation day. We can walk out of the grungy doors of this decaying house. This sad excuse for an abode. We can walk in through pearly gates. Into our real home. Around strangers from the same Father. Around friends we've never met. and siblings that we never even knew that we had.

"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am..." -John 14:2-3

...vapor

At school one day during 5th hour English III we had to pick a random word. I picked the word vapor. Our teacher then instructed us to write a poem about that word that we picked... This was my poem.

Temporary, lasting for a mere moment; Only to vanish behind crashing waves. What impact exists from it? Were you substantial to a life? We are as such, you know. Produced by the crashing of a wave, Or the short aroma of spring, before vanishing into eternity. Will we be a mute vapor? Un-sensed or felt by society? Or will we be that vapor that lasts, That carries on, albeit in memory only. Like the dash on a sarcophagi, Who else, except ourselves and the almighty, Shall know what was there. Temporary, lasting for a mere moment. Only to vanish behind crashing waves.

"...But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind..." - James 1:6

...i'm nobody

So, obviously this poem is not mine. I'm afraid I'm not quite that talented, haha. But I feel like it should be my first post on here for one reason or another. So without further ado the poem I'm Nobody! Who are You? by Emily Dickinson.

"I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too? Then there's a pair of us - don't tell! They'd banish us, you know!

How dreary to be somebody! How public like a frog! To tell one's name the livelong day, To an admiring bog!"